If your life is totally crappy right now and you are wondering how you could even start looking at a brighter side, then just remember that your life is not going to get any better if you don’t quit complaining. Complaining holds us back from doing things that will make our lives better.
Yes, it is a habit!
Complaining can be very habit forming. Complaining may even be something you do without thinking, because it’s become such a habitual part of your life. First, you need to understand that complaining is a bad habit and all it does is make things worse. It can also be highly corrosive to our attitudinal resilience both in our work and personal lives. Like junk food it is fun at first. Oh, but then the feeling that comes later is not good.
Excessive complaining makes everyone uncomfortable. Think about someone you know who complains a lot. Chances are you try to avoid him – and other people do too. The last thing you want is to be “that guy” – the guy no one wants to talk to, for fear he’ll launch into a complaint rant.
Remember that it always could be worse – always! Be grateful for what you have and you will start to find more things to be grateful for. Eventually you will start to really focus on those positive things and that should help you to replace some negative complaints with positive thoughts.
Similar to the way a healthy diet can help your waist line, healthy thoughts can help your behavior. If you truly want to take control of your life and be happier, you need to quit complaining. You can’t feed your mind negative thoughts. Instead, you have to understand you’re in control of those thoughts – and let them go.
But how do you let things go?
If you’re in the midst of a bunch of negative thoughts, simply letting them go can seem a whole lot easier said than done. Here’s how you can do it:
- Believe in yourself.
- Surround yourself with positive things.
- Stop blaming others.
If you make a serious effort to quit complaining today, you could wind up with a whole new you tomorrow!
Although your thoughts are not you, if you repeat the same thoughts over and over again, they will condition your mind to a large extent. It’s almost accurate to say that we become our dominant thoughts, but I think that’s taking it a bit too far.
The trap of negative thinking
This is a tough situation to escape because it’s self-perpetuating, as anyone stuck in negative thinking knows all too well. Your negative experiences feed your negative expectations, which then attract new negative experiences.
You can actually learn to embrace the negative thoughts running through your head and thereby transcend them. Allow them to be, but don’t identify with them because those thoughts are not you. Begin to interact with them like an observer.
If you need a few more lifetimes to work through your negativity, you’re free to take your time. Conscious creation is a big responsibility, and maybe you don’t feel ready for it yet. So until then you’re going to perpetuate the pattern of negative thinking to keep yourself away from that realization. You must admit that the idea of being the primary creator of everything in your current reality is a bit daunting. What are you going to make of your life? What if you screw up? What if you make a big mess of everything? What if you try your best and fail? Those self-doubts will keep you in a pattern of negativity as a way of avoiding that responsibility.
Here are some other thoughts about “how to quit complaining”…
In this video you will learn why you need to stop complaining and start explaining. This can seriously change your life for the better if you’re a constant.
I think I found the answer to my ever-growing TO DO list and the frustration that comes along with it when I think I am not checking off enough items at the end of the day! Instead of complaining on what still needs to be done on …
Quit Complaining Now
The real solution to complaining is responsibility. Here are some examples of what I mean by accepting responsibility:
- If I’m unhappy, it’s because I’m creating it.
- If there’s a problem in the world that bothers me, I’m responsible for fixing it.
- If someone is in need, I’m responsible for helping them.
- If I want something, it’s up to me to achieve it.
- If I want certain people in my life, I must attract and invite them to be with me.
- If I don’t like my present circumstances, I must end them.
When you catch yourself complaining, stop and ask yourself if you want to continue to deny responsibility for your reality or to allow a bit more responsibility back onto your plate. Maybe you’re ready to assume more responsibility, and maybe you aren’t, but do your best to make that decision consciously. Do you want sympathy for creating what you don’t want, or do you want congratulations for creating what you do want?
It’s good to take responsibility for your thoughts, but you don’t want to identify with those thoughts to the point you end up blaming yourself and feeling even worse.